


You Jump, I Jump.

by DeadOnHerFeet



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 1912!AU, Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, F/F, F/M, Forced Marriage, Forced Relationship, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, More Ships to come, More characters to come, Romance, Titanic!AU, probably character death later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-09 05:30:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4335701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadOnHerFeet/pseuds/DeadOnHerFeet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TITANIC AU.<br/>Jean Kristien boards the Titanic, set to wed against his will by his Father, desperate to secure his wealth and pay off their hidden debts. Marco Bodt boards the Titanic as an orphan with nothing more than some spare clothes, four good friends and tickets won at a game of poker.<br/>When their two worlds collide, they do their best to save each other, from themselves, from other people, and from the sea itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slave Ship.

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure about this story, but I'm going to post it anyway, because i think i could go really well.  
> please let me know what you think, i do hope you enjoy it.

I hated to admit it, but the ship was rather grand to behold. I had never seen anything of such a scale before. However, my feelings of bewilderment were soon replaced with dread, filling my stomach and creeping up my throat. As spectacular as The Titanic was, to me, it was a slave ship, shipping me back to America where I would spend the rest of my life in chains.

‘Darling, won’t you escort me on board?’

I turned to her, to Maria, looking at me eyebrows raised in slight annoyance. I felt my Fathers hand on my shoulder.  
‘Be a Gentleman, Jean, don’t let me down.’  
I shuddered before reaching out and taking her arm in mine, guiding her through the crowd and towards the ship. She squeezed my arm so tightly it hurt, reminding me that I was hers, and I had no way out of it. There was nothing I could do.

My family had a wealthy name, but my Father got too confident with the money, he got too greedy, and he lost it all, leaving us with a number of debts hidden by our reputation and good name. Maria’s family had struck oil in the south, making them new money, but money nonetheless. My Father, soon sensing an opportunity, because friendly with her folk, and before I knew it, I was to marry her, and my Father would regain his money and power status once again.  
I had no say in this, my Father told me that I was being selfish, ungreatful and foolish every time I brought it up.  
‘Do you want to see us poor? Is that it? Do you want to see me working on the fields, covered in shit? Do you want to watch this family fall apart?’  
He would grip my shoulders tightly and shake me, sometimes slap me. I would swallow down my rage, because I had too. Because kicking up a fuss wouldn’t get me out of this mess. It was a waste of my time and energy.

Maria struck me a cold smile as I took a step back and let her onto the ship before myself. I hated her, I wasn’t sure why. Whether it was because I was forced into this all or because she was genuinely a rather unlikable and cruel person, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I would rather die than spend the rest of my life with her, raising her children and attending dinner parties with the same dull, close minded people as I always had. I couldn’t stand the thought of having to do this forever.

The inside of the ship, to me, was arguably more impressive than the outside. The paint was fresh, a spotless cream colour, and long hallway was carpeted in deep red with a gold pattern running through it. We were escorted to our rooms, followed by our baggage, Maria chatting on in a less than polite manner about how the ship didn’t live up to her expectations ‘I despise this dreadful off-white colour they’ve painted the walls, we might as well be in third class!’  
I bit my tongue and continued down the corridor with her arm still in mine. 

‘These are your quarters, Sir’ the worker said, standing aside and letting us into the main room. I muttered my thanks him, something I was brought up never to do, but that never sat right with me. The room was large and the walls were dark wood lined and patterned in more gold, there was a deep blue loveseat in the middle of the room, facing a large mantelpiece and a fireplace that had already been lit for us. My Father started instructing the workers on where to place out luggage as he strutted around the room, inspecting every inch of it to see if he could find a fault. Maria too started to order the maids around, demanding that her clothes were to be unpacked immediately so they didn’t crease.

I needed some air, I excused myself out onto the private porch, overlooking the ocean. I could hear the faint cheers of people from the harbor on the other side of the boat, and I wished that I was down there with them, waving this life away.  
The air was fresh and the sea breeze blew my hair out of my face. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.  
I tried to tell myself that it would be okay, and that marrying Maria wouldn’t be so bad. 

I couldn’t quite believe myself.


	2. Lucky Hand.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco's POV  
> sorry if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes, i am dyslexic and trying my best :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!   
> i hope you like this chapter  
> please let me know what you think, comments really help me develop my writing and i love knowing what you think!

I couldn’t quite believe our luck. Four tickets for the Titanic. Four. Won in a game of poker.

When Ymir laid down the winning cards and Connie jumped up onto the bar table and screamed, I felt like I must be in a dream. 

‘Come on Marco! Hurry up! We’re going to miss it!’ Sasha yelled at me from in front. We were tearing towards the third class boardwalk up to the hatch, Ymir took the lead, shoving unapologetically through the bustling crowd of people who were already waving and cheering at the ship, which happened to be about 2 minuets away from setting sail now.   
We sprinted up the boardwalk just and the workers were about to move it away.   
‘WAIT’ Ymir screamed, ‘We have tickets, wait!’  
We reached the top, panting and sweating. I doubled over at the back of the group to catch my breath as Ymir convinced them that we had been through the health inspection checks and were already to board.   
They looked us up and down, we were dirty and our luggage consisted of a sack full of clothes each. Ymir wore men’s clothing and Sasha’s hair was tied back in a messy looking braid.   
One of the workers sighed and said ‘Very well, on you get.’   
He took our tickets and we clambered inside, the boardwalk disappearing almost as soon as my feet left it. 

‘We’re on the Titanic!’ Sasha exclaimed in glee, taking Connie by the shoulders and shaking him with excitement! ‘Think of how wonderful the food will be!’   
‘Lets not get ahead of ourselves now, we’re not exactly first class.’ Ymir stated, but she was as excited as we were, I could tell. 

We ran to the top deck, overlooking the crowed harbor we were just on. The people waving and cheering didn’t seem so inconvenient from all the way up here. In fact it was nice, it actually made me feel like I was someone of importance for once, someone these people knew and were going to miss. For a moment, we were more than just a group of street-rat orphans, for a moment, we felt like royalty.  
I waved and cheered back, yelling out that I would miss them at the top of my voice as Sasha blew them kisses and Connie danced and Ymir yelled about going to America. ‘We’re off to see the Statue of Liberty!’ 

The ship began to move, we were leaving the harbor behind, we were leaving England behind. I keep cheering till my throat was sore and the people looked like ants on the distant harbor.

Our room was on one of the lower decks, I hadn’t spotted any rats yet, which was always a good sign.   
I claimed the top bunk on the right side, which Connie gave me a little shove for, because Sasha had taken the left top bunk and I knew he hated being at the bottom, I gave a small snort as I pulled myself up onto my bunk, listening to the noise outside and Sasha repeat ‘We’re on the Titanic’ over and over again in awe.

‘Ymir, thank you for being so good at poker’ I said, leaning off the bunk to look at her. She grinned at me and reached up to ruffle my hair. ‘You’re welcome, Sailor.’


	3. The Crew.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LEVI POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are pretty short, but they'll get longer as the story goes on, so never fear!  
> this chapter is told from Levi's pov.  
> oh and btw Hanji is agender, because they totally are.

‘All ahead full!’ the shouting echoed through the control room. I sipped my tea and stared ahead at the ocean. We would be stopping at Ireland soon to pick up the last of our passengers. I checked my pocket watch, Erwin said they would be there within the hour.   
I heard footsteps rushing up behind me and I braced myself for what came next. Hanji slapped me hard on the back before pulling me in with one arm. ‘Excited to see America, shorty?’ they asked me, grinning as I pulled away, straightening up my uniform which they had crumpled with their hug.   
‘Not particularly, never did care much for Americans’ I said, setting my tea down on the side so Hanji didn’t knock it out of my hands with another hug. 

‘I’m American, so is Erwin, and Mike! You care for us, do you not?’ 

I raised my eyebrows in amusement, eyeing Hanji up and down as they looked at me indignantly. 

‘For some strange reason, I do, for the most part’ I sighed, admitting defeat.

‘You going to miss London?’ They asked me, taking a more serious tone. I shrugged, I would miss parts of it, but not the untidiness and dirt of the city, or the hustle of the street swarmed with people. I would miss the cool morning air, that ridiculous cockney accent that the pub owner down the road from me had, the rain that fell in sheets, cleansing the sidewalk of both dirt and people.

‘I guess I may miss it, a bit’ I admitted. ‘But it’s not like I’ll never return.’  
‘Exactly!’ Hanji exclaimed, ‘think of this like an adventure! We’re scouting the ocean! Who knows what we shall find!’ 

I snorted. ‘I’m pretty sure the only things we’ll find is a couple of icebergs and the Statue of Liberty.’

I wasn’t looking forward to this trip, I liked to sail, I was good at it, that’s why Erwin had dragged me along, said he would feel better about being the Captain of the largest ship in the world if I was on board, helping him out. 

This trip was to be cold, and longer than I would truly like, and a trip like this would also be very dull, and I would have to socialize with people from first class, which would be even duller. I hated their mindless chatter and their obnoxious ways. I was told by Erwin I was to show the Kirstien party around later, they were supposed to be a big deal, the son was to marry when the Titanic docked in America and the Father was a big business tycoon who Erwin was instructed to impress by Pixis before we set sale. I groaned at the thought, wishing he had given the responsibility to Hanji or Mike or Petra, but he knew why he was chosen me to do it, he trusted me just that little bit more. It was both a blessing and a curse.

‘We’re nearly at Cork Harbor, Sir!’ Oluo reported, saluting as both Haji and I turned to him. Hanji let out a sequel of delight. ‘I can’t wait to get this stop over with and finally head out towards the open ocean!’

‘Thank you Oluo’ I said, dismissing him. He nodded and turned on his heal, walking swiftly to rejoin Petra out on deck. 

‘Come on Levi, won’t you even show a little bit of excitement?’ Hanji asked.

I picked up my teacup one again and took another sip.   
‘Nothing that exciting can happen on a Cruise Ship, Hanji.’


	4. New Arrivals.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean's POV   
> trigger warning, very slight mentions of abuse and character death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More characters appear in this chapter, Yay!   
> hope you're enjoying it, please let me know what you think in the comments!

At Cork Harbor, a boy who looked to be about my age boarded the ship accompanied by a foreign girl with beautiful black hair and blonde boy with his shoulder length hair scraped back into a low and very neat ponytail. I was instantly curious about them, and couldn’t help myself but watch them move into the rooms opposite me. They talked like they were new money, not in the way Maria did, but in a polite way, they seemed nearly too causal with their speech to be in first class, but their clothes were impeccable and they seemed to know what they were doing, as though they had been in money for some time now. 

‘That boy there, with the dark hair, his name is Eren Jaeger’ My Father said quietly in my ear, I turned away from where I was watching them through our open door and looked up at him, he had a greedy expression on his face, meaning Eren Jaeger must have a fair amount of money. ‘The Asian girl with him is his adopted sister, Mikasa.’   
I turned back to look at them, giving a small nod to show my Father I was listening.   
‘Are they new money?’ I asked, watching as Eren laughed loudly at something the blonde boy said, pulling him into a one armed hug while Mikasa crossed her arms and shook her head at them.   
‘Not exactly.’  
I turned back to look at my Father, wearing a confused expression on my face.   
‘Their parents died recently, in a terrible accident. Eren and Mikasa have inherited the fortune as their own now.’   
I nodded, frowning slightly as I heard a thump of one of their trunks hitting the floor and a loud string of curse words leaving Erens mouth.   
‘What about the blonde?’ I asked.  
Father shrugged ‘He’s Armin Arlert, parents are less than respectable, but his grandfather still holds a good name.’   
I nodded again, turning back to face them. All their luggage was inside now, Armin was thanking the workers graciously for their help as Eren escorted Mikasa inside.   
‘What an odd group’ Maria stated, striding into the room from her bedroom and peaking through the open door as Armin, Eren and Mikasa entered their quarters and closed the door behind them.   
‘To think riff-raff like that should be allowed in first class! I hope they don’t cause too much trouble. I didn’t care for how long that boy’s hair was! He looked dreadfully untidy!’   
I suppressed the need to roll my eyes at her and tell her that I doubted the boy cared that she didn’t like his hair length and that it was really none of her business, because I didn’t want another slap from my father, and I didn’t want a slap from her later on when we were alone.   
‘I’m sure they won’t cause too much of a problem, dear’ I said instead, forcing myself to smile at her.   
‘I certainly hope not! If they do I shall file a complaint to the Captain!’ she exclaimed. I didn’t say anything.  
‘Speaking of the Captain, he has agreed to have his Second Officer give us a tour of the ship this afternoon’ my Father said offhandedly, as if this wasn’t a big deal at all. ‘We should start to dress for the occasion!’ Maria said.  
‘Jean, you must change out of that tired looking attire, you must start making more of an effort with your clothes’ she told me, making my Father chuckle. I forced another smile at her and nodded stiffly. ‘I shall change into something that will suit your preference, Maria’ I said, trying to keep the anger out of my voice, although I was sure some of it came through, and she shot me a cold look.   
I excused myself to my bedroom to change, muttering swearwords under my breath as so neither Maria or my Father could hear. 

 

The Second Officer was a short man with neat black hair, cold grey eyes and an angry expression on his face that seemed to never change. He introduced himself as Levi Ackerman before starting the tour immediately, asking my Father the standard questions like ‘How are you finding your quarters?’ and ‘is everything up to your expectations?’ He didn’t seem truly interested however, I didn’t blame him, if I was told to show around some self obsessed first class group, I’d be angry and uninterested too, although he did a better job of hiding it then I would have.   
Levi introduced us to several members of the crew as we passed them, walking around the top deck, he showed us the state of the art gym and the control room and we walked along to the back of the ship, passing first class passengers sitting on chairs outside, sipping on cups of tea and glasses of whiskey.   
‘Isn’t it a bit of a waste, having lifeboats on an unsinkable ship?’ Maria asked Levi as we walked, I saw Levi stiffen before he answered. ‘It’s just a precaution, personally I think we should have more lifeboats.’   
‘Why more? Isn’t there enough for everyone on board?’ I asked, in spite of myself.   
Levi glanced at me over his shoulder, his eyes scanning me up and down, I felt uncomfortably exposed under his gaze, but I held myself steady and didn’t break eye contact.   
‘There’s not enough, not enough for even half of the passengers’ he answered finally, his voice lacked emotion, but it seemed to bother him, he pulled his gaze off me and picked up the pace.   
‘Why weren’t more lifeboats added then?’ I asked.   
‘Because’ Levi sighed, not turning to look at me this time ‘It was of the opinion that it would make the deck look too cluttered.’   
‘So, The White Star Line put looks before safety? How very practical’ I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, my Father gave me a warning look, but to my surprise, Levi chuckled. ‘That’s one word for it’ he said, turning back round to me and grinning.  
‘I hardly think it matters’ Maria drawled from beside me. ‘It’s not like this ship can sink anyway.’   
Levi’s grin vanished, and he continued the tour.


	5. I Spy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco's POV   
> more characters introduced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope you like this chapter, I'm really enjoying writing it!  
> let me know what you think!

We sat on the lower deck, Ymir smoked and Connie and Sasha had gone to look over the side at the dolphins that followed alongside. I loved it out here, the smell of the sea and the breeze blowing through my hair, and nothing but ocean out in front of us for miles and miles.   
Next to me sat Reiner, who was staying in the room next to us. He offered me a smoke, which I declined, and then started talking to me about his stay in Ireland and asking me about where I was from. He took great amusement from the story of how Ymir won our tickets. I quite liked Reiner, his voice was tinged with a slight Irish accent and he was easy to talk to, which is more than I can say for his two companions. Berthold was a tall, slender man with dark hair and a rather nervous disposition, Annie stood a little bit away from them, looking over the edge of the ship. She was much shorter than the other two, with blonde hair and a stare that made my blood run cold. Neither of them had spoken much, but what they did say, I liked, and I think they were people I could befriend if I got to know them a little better. 

Ymir was being rather quiet; she was staring up at the upper deck, seemingly transfixed by something or someone. I gave her a gentle nudge. ‘What’s got your attention?’ I asked quietly, so Reiner, Berthold and Annie couldn’t hear. Ymir gave herself a slight shake before pulling her eyes off whatever she was staring at. ‘Nothing, just distracted is all’ she said stiffly, before striking up a conversation with Reiner. I felt my eyes wonder up to the top deck to the spot where Ymir had been staring. A short, blonde girl with a rather angelic face and wearing a beautiful, very expensive looking yellow dress, stood there alone, staring out to sea with a small smile on her face. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch up in a smirk, knowing what Ymir had been thinking.

Ymir liked girls, I liked boys. 

It was an unspeakable thing, to be attracted to our own sex, that’s the view everyone else seemed to have, except Connie and Sasha, who told us up front the start they were okay with that.   
We kept it quiet and to ourselves, because that was the best way. 

Ymir, as brilliant as she was, wouldn’t be able to woo the first class girl with the blonde hair and the yellow dress. The world didn’t work like that. I felt a twinge of sadness at the fact my friend couldn’t get what she wanted, she deserved someone as beautiful as that girl. My heart sank just thinking about it.

I looked back up to the top deck and I saw a short man with black hair and a scowl approach the railing, he was in a spotless uniform with the White Star Line logo embroidered on the right breast. Behind him walked a man with greying hair and a cane with a sliver handle, and a boy and a girl, arm in arm.   
The girl looked angry, her jaw clenched and her arm linked through the boys arm was stiff, as though she was clutching him to her with force. She had curly brown hair and wore a rather unflattering green dress. But it was the boy that caught my attention.   
Sandy blonde, undercut hair, a slim face and a frustrated expression, he looked as if he would rather be anywhere but there, with the girl latched onto him with a death grip. He stood straight and scanned the lower deck, it took me a few seconds to realize I was staring at him, and then it took me a few seconds longer to notice that he was staring back.   
I felt the colour rush to my cheeks and I smiled at him, offering a small wave. I felt like an idiot, I could feel Ymir watching me.   
To my surprise, the boy smiled back and gave me a slight nod before turning away to speak to the man I assumed was his Father.   
At this point I must have been bright red. I dropped my gaze and slowly glanced over at Ymir, who was looking at me with raised eyebrows.   
‘Don’t say anything, I saw who you were looking at’ I muttered, giving her a slight shove as she smirked at me.   
‘Yeah, at least I didn’t make a fool out of myself’ she snickered.  
‘It wasn’t that bad was it?’ I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.   
Ymir rolled her eyes. ‘No, it wasn’t, but get it together, he’s in first class and he’s got a girl wrapped around him.’   
I dipped my head and Ymir looked up at the boy with the sandy hair, who was now having a conversation with the girl he was with. ‘Although,’ Ymir added, ‘he doesn’t look too happy with her, maybe you have a shot after all freckles.’   
She threw a cheesy grin up to the sandy hair boy, who gave us an inquisitive look back.   
I coved my face in despair and groaned.


	6. Compensation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erens POV.  
> sorry for the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! hope you're enjoying the story, hopefully the next update will come sooner!  
> let me know what you think in the comments, i love hearing your feedback!

I sat at the large round dining table in the ships restaurant, looking down at the unused china and glistening silverware, listening to Mr. Kristien talk. He had invited us to dine with him and his party that night, said he had known my parents a short time back, said it would be a pleasure to get to know the man they raised. 

I didn’t trust him one bit, he was too arrogant, too loud. I clenched my fist under the table as he spoke, Mikasa noticed and gave me a quick kick under the table, warning me not to lose my temper, which I was good at doing. Armin was making a good attempt at conversation, he’s always been better with people than Mikasa and I have been. He spoke to Mr. Kristien’s son, Jean, and they seemed to get on alright too. The girl, Maria, was cold, and kept giving us dark stares, as though our mere presence offended her. I got the waiter to pour me some more wine and forced myself to drink and try to forget about the dirty look she was giving Armin as he spoke with Jean.  
‘So, Jaeger, what brings you on the Titanic?’ Jean asked me, grinning at me over the table. He had had too much to drink, his cheeks were tinged red from the alcohol and now Maria was shooting him a dirty look.   
I stiffened before I spoke, Mikasa was watching me out of the corner of her eye.   
‘Thought it was time to head on home to America, what better way to arrive than on the biggest ship in the world?’   
Jean tilted his head and nodded. ‘Well said, the ship was well named don’t you think? It really is a titan.’  
I forced him a smile and nodded, I didn’t like him all that much, and I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the distrust I felt for his father.   
‘What do you think of the ship, Mikasa?’ Maria asked, seemingly friendly, but there was something in her voice that I didn’t like. I clenched my fists again.   
‘Oh it’s rather splendid, you can tell the creators were trying to compensate for something.’   
I stifled a laugh; a laugh that Jean wasn’t quite able to keep in, Maria gave Jean the coldest glare she had given all night.   
‘I agree’ Maria said stiffly, ‘Much like how Jean is trying to compensate for something while wearing a tux like this’ she gestured to the bottle green colour of his waistcoat and I couldn’t help but snorting with laughter. Mr Kristien joined in, giving a hearty laugh and slapping his son on the back rather hard. It didn’t look as if Jean found humor in this, his lips became thin and he forced a smile than in no way looked genuine.  
‘Oh Jean, you’re never able to laugh at yourself’ Maria stated, giving a sickly-sweet grin and leaning her head on his shoulder.   
‘You’re right, Darling, I’ll try and find the humor in your insults next time’ he said, coldly. Mr. Kristein flashed him a dangerous look and Marias faced became dark. The rest of the meal became somewhat uncomfortable.


	7. Mister Kirsein, Mister Bodt.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeans POV   
> trigger warnings for abuse and mentions of suicide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! longer chapter this time, and they finally meet each other!   
> please tell me what you think, i hope you are enjoying it!

After dinner my father marched me back to our rooms with a death grip on my shoulder. I walked as normally as I could, trying not to winch in pain as his fingers dug into my flesh. He shoved me into our quarters and slammed the door forcefully behind us. Maria has stayed in the dining room, drinking and chatting with Mikasa, who seemed very displeased, and a girl named Historia, who I had met once before at a party, her family was practically royalty. 

‘How dare you make a fool of me, of her?’ he snarled, gripping my arm and pulling me close to his face.   
‘Oh, I made a fool of her? What about the things she said to me?’ I snapped, pulling back ever so slightly.

Then he slapped me, I gasped as my cheek stung with the pain of it. 

‘You were already making a fool of yourself! Her words didn’t make any difference.’   
‘I hate her’ I said, my voice raising. I yanked my arm out of his grip and I stumbled backwards ever so slightly.  
‘I can’t marry her, I don’t love her.’   
He father smirked, then he started to laugh.   
‘You think men like us marry for love? Stupid boy. No one will ever love you, why would they? They love the money, that’s all.’   
I couldn’t find a come back to that, my voice hitched in my throat and the only thing that could be heard was my ragged breathing.   
‘You wont find love, Jean. I don’t give a shit if you hate her. You’re marrying her. It’s the smart thing to do.’   
I couldn’t stand there any longer. I turned on my heel and marched out of the room, slamming the door as hard as I could.

I had to have some time to myself. All I could think was Damn Maria and Damn my Father and Damn Eren Jaeger also for laughing and making it worse. I walked so fast to the back of the ship I was almost running. 

The deck was empty from what I could tell, which was perfect, I didn’t want to see anyone right now.   
When I reached the very rear of the ship, I lit up a smoke and inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and leaning my head over the railing, listening to the roaring of the sea as it was churned through the ships propellers. 

This was what my life was going to be like from now on. 

Dinner parties and put downs and dull conversations. I was going to be stuck with Maria and her heartless smile and snarky comments for the rest of my life.   
I would never fall in love, not with her, not with anyone.   
I would never know what love felt like.  
I held back a sob, telling myself it was pathetic to cry over this. This was the hand life had dealt me, I just had to get on with it.  
I opened my eyes, and looked down at the dark ocean beneath me. The moonlight shone across it, illuminating the waves. I dropped my cigarette and watched as it fell, disappearing into the dark water.  
If I jumped now, I wouldn’t have to marry Maria, I wouldn’t have to live this life.   
I would be free.

‘Hello?’ 

I jumped so violently I nearly fell over the side of the ship. I span round, ready to give whoever interrupted me an earful, but I was faced with the dark haired freckled boy with the tanned skin and the cute smile who had waved at me from the lower deck earlier.

‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were about to jump in’ freckles said, taking a cautious step towards me.

‘Who’s to say I wasn’t’ I asked, I meant to snap at him, sound harsh, but I didn’t. My voice sounded hushed and was barely above a whisper.   
Freckles cocked his head, frowning. ‘So you were going to jump?’ he asked me, his eyes scanning me up and down.  
‘No… Maybe… I don’t know.’ I groaned and rubbed my face roughly with my hands. I wish I hadn’t drank so much at dinner.   
‘What makes you think you know any better anyhow?’ I asked, pulling my hands from my face and glaring at him.   
Freckles took a moment before speaking, shuffling his weight from one foot to the next.   
‘Well, you look like a smart man, and jumping into near freezing water isn’t a smart thing to do.’   
I stared at him for a moment, he seemed rather nervous. He pulled the sleeves of his tunic over his hands and offered me a shy smile.   
I shrugged and took a step away from the edge, making freckles smile more genuine. 

‘I’m Jean Kristen’ I introduced myself

‘Marco Bodt’ he said, shaking my hand.

‘You look like you could use a cigarette, Mister Kristen.’

I grinned at his offer and nodded my head, ‘you can call me Jean, Mister Bodt.’   
Marco dug around in his pocket and pulled out a silver case with the name Ymir engraved on the side.   
‘And you can call me Marco, I’m only third class, that kind of address doesn’t really count for me’ Marco chuckled, passing me a cigarette.   
I frowned at what he said about third class, not thinking it was fair on him, or them, but I didn’t say anything.   
‘So who’s Ymir?’ I asked, looking pointedly at the name on the cigarette case. ‘She your girl?’  
Marco scoffed, ‘Ymir? No, she’s more like my sister, if you get where I’m coming from.’ He grinned at me, and I felt my heart flutter a little.   
I lit my cigarette and sat down on one of the benches overlooking the sea, Marco joined me, lighting up a cigarette of his own.   
‘I don’t usually smoke, but it’s always better when you smoke with someone else’ Marco said, I nodded in agreement as I inhaled the harsh smoke gratefully.  
‘So what brings you onto this ship?’ he asked me, looking at me with his big, almond shaped eyes. I sighed, I had almost forgotten about Maria and my Father and the big fancy wedding that would happen when I stepped off this ship. I suddenly filled with dread. 

‘My father wishes me to marry to secure our wealth, so the fiancée and I are going back to her country for the wedding.’

My voice was quiet as I spoke, and I took a deep drag of my cigarette after I had finished my sentence. Saying it out loud like that only made it feel more real. 

Marco was quiet for a moment, his almond eyes fixed on me with a soft expression.   
‘You say your father wishes you to marry her, but is that what you want?’ he asked me, his voice gentle and cautious.   
I shrugged and said, ‘I never really had a say in it.’   
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that’ Marco said, his voice sounded sad, and I couldn’t help but meet his eyes with my gaze. I was taken by surprise by how beautiful he looked in the moonlight. His olive skin was scattered with freckles that resembled the stars in the sky above us and his hair was thick and dark and I had a strange urge to run my hands through it, and his eyes… oh god his eyes were golden-brown like caramel and I’m sure he was just as sweet. 

I shouldn’t be here, sitting at the back of the world biggest and grandest ship smoking and talking with Marco Bodt from third class. I should be with Maria, or in the first class smoking room talking with all the other rich and ignorant men about politics and business and all the other stuff like that that bored me to death. Sitting with Marco was the last place I should be, but yet, it was the only place I wanted to be.   
It wasn’t the smart thing to do, but I didn’t care, I wanted to be stupid and reckless and impulsive, just for once.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ he asked me, and I realized that there were tears in my eyes. I blinked them back and nodded, pulling a small, but genuine smile.   
‘I could take you somewhere that might cheer you up?’ Marco said, he sounded nervous and I noticed how he started to chew on his lip. ‘If you don’t mind mixing with the third class, that is.’  
‘Trust me, I’d love to mix with third class for a change.’ I said eagerly, making the nervous look on his face get replace with a grin that made my heart skip.  
‘Okay, well then’ he stood up and threw the butt of his cigarette overboard before offering me his hand to help me up, ‘Let me show you what a real third class party is.’

I felt excitement rush through me, and without a second thought, I took his hand and followed him below deck.


End file.
